YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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