i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
