I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
