It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
