Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
