Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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