So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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