ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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