I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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