I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
