You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
