that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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