giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize