I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
