I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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