So drunk, too bad you don't want this
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You're like the curious george of whores
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
