cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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