hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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