You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
