smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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