When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He literally asked permission to hit on me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
