Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
