Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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