so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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