Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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