You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
