After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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