I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
