Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
