weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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