U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
