Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
