Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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