at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
