you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
