More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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