My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
