So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
