i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
