I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
