Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize