I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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