It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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