Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
