We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
