I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
