their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and i looked up. we had an audience...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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