Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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