NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
