You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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