Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
