I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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