it was like eating out sand paper
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
