I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
