i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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