So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
