that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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