Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
