Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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