um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
