Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
